Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Girls, girls, girls.

I am a girl. A female, chick, lady, woman, whatever. Sometimes I don't want to claim my species, though. We're hard to get along with, moody, conniving, panda jerks.

These thoughts have been coagulating in my mind in this manner:

1. My female counterparts known as my friends.
2. My friendship with my helpmate, Geoffrey.

So there are my friends who I love more than anything, and somehow manage to get along with all the time. I've had my small share of ex-BFFs, but we all know they were crazy-ass bitches. Anyways, why can't they get along? Why do they shut one person out, ignoring them, getting all butt-hurt about something stupid like a small difference of opinions? Am I only able to get along because I don't live in the same town as them? I don't think so... I never got into fights with anyone when I was living in the same house as them for two years. What's the effin' deal here? DRAMA.

Then there's my best male friend, Geoffrey (Jeffrey Wayne, if you will). We get in fights frequently. He's told me to go fuck myself more times than I can count, I've punched him in the kidneys so hard he's fallen to the ground, he's made me cry, I've called him at 4 a.m. when I thought I was going to die if I fell asleep... you get the idea. Anyways, I was thinking about our friendship and I wonder if that's how all guys are. Like they are total assholes to each other and then the next day it's all over with. I think if I talked to my girlfriends like I talk to him, they'd never speak to me again. With Jeff I can be like, "I hate those jeans. They look like they're from 1993. Why don't you just go ahead and tight roll them?" and instead of crying and being mad, he'd say something like, "As if you look any better. Did you even take a shower today? You stink like yesterday's trash. Let's go get me some new jeans."

So why can't all girls be the same way? Quit focusing on the stupid, petty things and get over it. Stop holding a grudge just to prove whatever your stupid point is. Have you ever thought YOU'RE not that easy to get along with, either? Maybe to someone you are the center of the universe, and chances are you think you're the center of the universe. But when you get fifteen chicks together who are all thinking the same thing, shit's bound to hit the proverbial fan.

I know I can never have the kind of relationship with my girlfriends that I do with Geoffrey. They don't want me telling them their jeans look stupid, and I don't want to hear that from them, either (I don't think). But I guess that's ok. Sometimes I like everything to be sugar-coated. BTW, those jeans at left are my favorite jeans. You really can't make fun of them because they're so f*cking cool.


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