Tuesday, January 08, 2008

I vote Sam!

For a while now I've been contemplating a fantastic blog about The Bravery versus The Killers, since they have an openly public feud, are on the same record label, and have similar sounds. I really liked The Killers when they first came out, back in the day. I distinctly recall seeing the "Somebody Told Me" video on MTV2 when they still played a lot of alt rock (now we know they play reruns of Run's House). That was in about two-double-ought-three, I believe. I got Hot Fuss in 2004, I think, and it was great. My favorite song off that album is still "Believe Me Natalie." Great drums...

Anyways, I started to like The Bravery as soon as I saw "An Honest Mistake," also on MTV2 (probably). Cool video, and Sam Endicott's vocals are seriously sexy, as opposed to Brandon Flowers', whose seem forced to me (read: suck it, Flowers). It cracked me up when The Killers had to cancel shows because of Brandon's voice going out or something last year and Madison on Alt Nation (Sirius) was like, "Uh, what voice?"

I sort of forgot about The Bravery after I saw that video, though. Maybe they should hire a new publicist (you know, call me, whatever). My love for The Bravery grew exponentially when I heard "Time Won't Let Me Go" early in 2007. I bought The Sun and the Moon the very next time I was in a real city and in its entirety is an incredible sophomore album, unlike Sam's Town, The Killers' failed attempt at another Hot Fuss. It's so monotonous, I could cry. Maybe that's why Brandon Flowers decided to talk smizzack about The Bravery and a bunch of other bands whose records didn't blow. Or maybe Flowers is jealous that every member of The Bravery is really, really ridiculously good-looking and The Killers are Brandon Flowers (little person) and a bunch of haggard dudes.

My partiality to The Bravery grew even more when I saw them on Halloween with Amanda in Washington, D.C. Rock and roll at it's finest... small venue, synthesizers, who could ask for anything more? Oh, except I am a huge fan of the two slower songs on The Sun and the Moon ("Tragedy Bound" and "The Ocean") and would have probably passed out if they would have played those... So has been created a life-long fan of The Bravery, necessitating me to judge The Killers very harshly.

Herein lies the fodder for this blog. I was getting ready to write about something else entirely, but the new Killers' single (no, not the Joy Division remake) came on IMF. The song's called "Tranquilize" and features legendary rock star, Lou Reed. If you don't know who Lou Reed is, you don't know much about rock n' roll. Or you don't know as much as I do, which is forgivable... you probably didn't have a hippie mother who took you to see The Rolling Stones when you were in high school (or The Grateful Dead while you were in utero, for that matter) and a dad who's worked in radio and played "Yellow Submarine" for you on his guitar when you were little.

But back to Lou Reed. Lou Reed's heel has probably seen more action than Brandon Flowers could ever imagine to experience in his little Mormon life, in his tiny Mormon body. How did these two meet and how did Brandon Flowers not spontaneously combust in the presence of heroin, punk rock, and bisexuality's poster child? They idolized Lou in Trainspotting. He dated a tranny for years. Brandon Flowers isn't allowed to smoke or drink, but maybe his selling point is that he's a cult member, I don't know. He'll never be tranquilized unless he gets stung by a bee or something... That I know.

Here's the rub: I like "Shadowplay" (the Joy Division remake) and "Tranquilize" so maybe I'll like Sawdust. All I know is that if Brandon Flowers and Sam Endicott ever came to fisticuffs, I vote Sam.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Short Thoughts on a Sad Day

It was two years today (January 6th) since my brother died. I have tried successfully not to dwell by sleeping until almost 1:30 this afternoon and then dulling my mind with TV, the internet, and making a ridiculous purchase from Sephora. When I finally stop watching TV and try to go to sleep is when it will be hard. I've also successfully avoided all contact through my phone today.

I do remember that day like it just happened, though. The feelings are just somewhat different. Sometimes that chest-crushing, broken-hearted feeling returns, but back then it was all day, every day. I couldn't sleep, and when I did, I had nightmares, or woke up crying. It was so hard. It still is. The hardest part is I don't think anyone understands on any level still. My family's dynamic was completely destroyed two years ago and we still haven't figured out how to make it work. How to just be around each other and not feel uncomfortable because someone is missing.

I still don't understand how someone can be here one day and gone forever the next. We're way beyond that point that maybe he's off fighting fires and he'll be home in a few months. This is a situation where you have to figure out how to adjust and live your life with a huge piece missing. It's like being an amputee or something. I last saw my brother on January 1st, 2006. He called me on January 3rd. On January 6th, he was dead.

On The Wheeler Blog you can read what Josh and I wrote for a printout for his memorial service. That was about the worst thing I've ever had to do. We should not have had to do it, and it felt like nothing could be good enough for Matt. I still don't feel like I can do anything to honor his memory. So I watched cartoons all day.