"The" Trend

I found out a couple of days ago that Tony Parker of the San Antonio Spurs is a hip hop star in France and this bothers me. His video was on IMF and it was like a train wreck in a foreign tongue. Apparently he was raised in France and is undoubtedly rapping about their new president, the Eiffel Tower, and rims/grills. Granted, I can’t understand a word of it except for when he says, “Tony P.” and the text message his lady, Eva Longoria (who cameos in the video), sends him on his phone. Anyways, I keep hearing hip hop is dead, but I think Tony P. can single-handedly resurrect it. That is if he can cross over to the English language and try not to mirror the musical careers of other bi-talented stars like Shaq and Bruce Willis.

Other than T.P., I just want to give fair warning about emerging bands with names that start with “The”. Now historically it seems that more of these that bands broke through in the 60s, had a noun following “The”, and are visionary rock n’ roll mavericks. I just have this lingering suspicion that these new bands failed to come up with a decent name and felt like “The” (placed before whatever they could manifest over a bowl and some Arbor Mist) gave them a nonexistent edge (read: Manolo’s Shoe Blog). The only way I could accept their grammatical blasphemy is a band member with an advanced degree, and as far as I know there aren’t any Rivers Cuomos or MENSA members in those bands.

Beware The Almost, The Higher, The Used (who used to be cool…), The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus, The Nickelback, and any other new band that looks like they have a preteen who abuses flat irons and straightening serum as a lead singer (or the Cowardly Lion from The Wizard of Oz… Chad Kroeger!). Fear not The Bravery, for their music rocks and might make your face melt. The National, The Fratellis, and The Kooks have yet to offend me with visuals or horrible music (I actually like all three bands), but it’s sort of like, “The National what? The National Mattress Sales Event?” And yes, I did refer to these bands as “emerging” although they may have been together since they were like 12 or 13 years old. Which was like last year.

Moving on, you may or may not have gathered that I am back at the French restaurant I have been employed by off and on for like the past three and a half years. It’s probably the most fun job I have ever had, and even when it’s slow I make more money than I have at any job I have ever held. Ever. So I can’t complain when I owed two grand to the apartment complex at which I broke my lease last month. I expect by the end of the summer, not only will I have had that paid off for a month or two, but will have a couple of new leather best friends from Coach and a zero balance on all of my credit cards. Glorious! How hard is it to find a “real” job I like this much and make this much money doing? I eagerly await your answers to this burning question.

I think next time I may blog about the merit of our current presidential candidates based solely on their names… It’s just too easy and abnormal to ignore.