Monday, June 04, 2007

Nickelback Sucks, Part I

So my life consists of: working, reading books, journaling, listening to alternative rock on Sirius on my television, and occasionally going out on the town (I mean village).

Work is pretty awesome. We have a chick who works only at lunch and keeps a knife in her biker boots. She also has a seemingly mentally challenged son who washed dishes one day, which brings me to our newest dishwasher… We “affectionately” refer to him as Pedro because he had hair like Pedro in Napoleon Dynamite until he shaved it all off. Like Pedro from Napoleon Dynamite. He talks to himself and our “sous chef” caught him talking to himself – no, more like having a conversation and taking the task of being the female he was talking to upon himself. In other words, he may also have multiple personality disorder and one of them is a female. I have also been delegated the task of firing the knife-wielder before Jeff gets back. So I may fall victim to work-related violence when she goes postal. Never a dull moment.

Going out is a little like going to an ugly conference. There used to be at least a few attractive people in Ruidoso. I guess they all died or moved away for fear of catching the ugly disease. Sorry, I shouldn’t make fun of these people because I know I’m not perfect, but seriously… I think global warming is more being caused by all the heat obese people conduct than pollution and the destruction of the rainforests combined.

Alt Nation 21 on Sirius is my new best friend. I can’t tell you how much I love Peter Bjorn & John (a little pissed yet intrigued that Kanye West sampled “Young Folks”), the new White Stripes song (well, you can’t be a pimp and a prostitute, too…), the synthesizers of Shiny Toy Guns and The Killers, and scary Amy Winehouse and bitchy Lily Allen. My Chemical Romance is even starting to grow on me a little. Everyone should check out The Bravery (if you haven’t already), Plain White T’s (not to be confused with Plain Brown Wrapper, a.k.a. Wet Brown Paper Sack, from Lubbock), and Cold War Kids. Yay! I still hate The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus and Switchfoot, though. I also still loathe Nickelback, but luckily they never play that kanuck bullshit on this station. Boo Nickelback and all of their fans who willingly allow themselves to be exposed to mediocre music, thereby supporting the modern day equivalent to Air Supply, and creating an arena for more bands just like them. See you in hell, Chad Kroeger!!

I listen to Alt Nation when I’m off work and reading or sleeping or writing. I just finished The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini. What I need to do is finish re-reading the last three Harry Potter books before the new movie and last book come out this summer and J.K. Rowling breaks my heart by ending the series. But I’m about to start The Time Traveler’s Wife, which I am told is amazing. So we shall see!

The Internet and I have all but ended our long and sordid affair as of about two months ago. I check my e-mail and MySpace about once a week if I’m lucky. And can I please tell you that not being attached to that crap is absolutely liberating? I hope we don’t get the Internet back because it will undoubtedly suck me into its electronic communication wiles. The bastard. But not blogging regularly sucks because I know how much like three people out there enjoy reading my musings. Maybe you all should tell other people about my blog and give me subject suggestions and feedback… I’m aiming for a weekly posting.

Planned highlights for the summer include Harry Potter and paying off my debt, minus my student loans. We’ll save those for my future third ex-husband, Peyton Manning, to settle when we get married in the next decade or so. My life is entirely too exciting!

3 comments:

Sack said...

My Chemical Romance is the shizzy. I'm not as big a fan of "The Black Parade" as "Whatever the Name of Their First Album Is", but whatev. Both of them are good listening. If you get the first one, every odd-numbered song is great. #5 being the best among them. Good luck with the knife lady. I recommend saying 'greetings' with a wicked roundhouse kick to the ribs.

Rachel said...

Ok, I can't commit to Amy Winehouse. She is so weird! I wish she wasn't in the gossip blogs all time because her voice is amazing. But knowing how weird she is and how drugged out she is can be really distracting when listening to her. I am torn. Someone please send her to rehab for real so I can like her!! :)

Sarah said...

Commit to Amy Winehouse! She's so effed up, she's cool! I would totally want her on my side if I ever got into a fight or something. She's skinny as hell, but I bet she battles like a spider monkey on speed.

And just FYI, the knife lady is from Kansas and was constantly telling stories about Kansas until she quit on Monday. Thank God because I was truly scared of firing her...