Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Somebody kick this kid in the shin.

So you may or may not recall a while back that kid who was kidnapped in Florida by some sick-o pederast, only to escape and be rescued. The boy was touted a hero in his own right and I could not agree more. The child was taken against his will, was undoubtedly scared out of his gourd and was sharp enough to get away, unscathed.

You must have seen the story develop over the past few days of the 12-year-old Boy Scout who wandered away from his group camping trip and found himself lost in the woods. He, too, is being praised for his survival skills and seeming tenacity. For one thing, I'm sick of hearing about it when there's a presidential election coming up next year and people are dying in the war and Africa. If you want to warm my heart with a tear-jerking story about heroism, I'd rather hear about a mentally challenged person who saved a parakeet from a house fire, because that person clearly has more wits than this kid in my opinion.

The kid decided to take off on his own because the friends he liked didn't show for the camping trip, i.e. he was "homesick". I used to go to camp for an entire month during the summer when I was a kid in the mountains near Santa Fe. I got homesick sometimes. Common sense even at 10 told me I should not embark on a trek back to Farmington because it just wasn't a good idea. Did he think he'd pass a phone booth in the wilderness?

So when did this kid's common sense fail him and the foreshadowing of the rest of his certain failure of a life set in? I'm not sure, but luckily after a few days in the North Carolina woods at "freezing" temperatures, a woman and her dog named Gandalf found him. Reports say one of the first things he requested was a helicopter ride. Then food and water and whatnot. Then his dad tells cameras that he told his son before the camping trip that if he didn't have fun, dad would give him five dollars, and said he'd pay up. Dude, after the initial relief wore off that I was alive and well, I guarantee you I would not have been given my five dollars or a helicopter ride, but rather a grounding and incessant lectures on my bad decision.

And this child is being heralded a hero. He is being called a hero for making a bad choice and somehow, amazingly, surviving for a couple of days without his ADHD medication. Shocker... when he was off the meds, he somehow managed to make calculated survival decisions. That's amazing.

Please let's keep on rewarding mediocrity and see what happens. I can't WAIT for a kid who grew up on Ritalin and without dodge ball to be running the United States. We might as well elect Clay Aiken as President right now and get it over with.

4 comments:

Jaime said...

Wheels, you were just able to say out loud what the rest of America was thinking. This kid is a MORON, and was probably wandering around hoping to find a Best Buy so he could wander in and play some video games while waiting to be "rescued." What a douche.

And as for the whole "hitched" thing, UH NO! Not even close! Don't know who started such an impious rumor, but let's put that to bed now! When you come up, call me. My number is (505)-640-8529. Hope you didn't convert to the dark side while you were detained in the metroplex and change your number from a 505, but just in case!

Jaime said...

Oh, and I'd like you to know that when I loaded the internet this morning, guess who was on the front page of MSN? Mr. Lost Boy Scout himself. I felt like writing them a nasty email about it, but then realized it was saturday and that I don't work that hard on saturday. Just thought you'd like to know that he's getting even more publicity now.

Sarah said...

That's just insanity. And probably why I use Firefox... so I don't have to ever even bother changing my homepage from Explorer's default, msn.com, to something more suitable, like Google. Google only gives me what I ask for... LOL.

Jaime, I'll get a hold of you for next weekend. Maybe you'll be the first or last to see me with the chopped locks! YAY!

Jaime said...

HAHA, well I'd be privileged either way! Might be interesting! And yeah, changed the homepage minute I saw that poor excuse for a hero on the front of MSN! Unbelievable!