Wednesday, March 28, 2007


Today I talked to the first celebrity I've talked to since telling Bruce Willis he wasn't allowed to catch his daughter (it was probably the condom-lover, Rumor) from the diving board back in '98. I mean besides heckling Sammy Hagar in Lubbock and telling Dave Matthews to take off his pants in Dallas...

Ok, so maybe she's not as famous as the Bruce or Dave, but she's clearly one of my personal heroes due solely to the fact that she was in The Goonies. I know you're thinking, "Wow, Sarah talked to Martha Plimpton!" No, not so much. "Kerri Green?" No... "Anne Ramsey??" No, she's dead. Ok, I'll tell you. It was Rosalita, also known as Lupe Ontiveros. She played Yolanda Salvidar in Selena and has most recently been "Mama Solis" in Desperate Housewives. She's also from the illustrious town of El Paso.

So I guess what's important is not that I talked to an Emmy-nominated actress. It's the ass I made of myself the three-ish times I talked to her assistant "Enrique" before I talked to her.

The first time I talked to him, I forgot who I was trying to score an interview with... "I'm calling in regards to... uh... uh... oh my gawd I'm drawing a blank... uh..." Did he help me? Not so much. Kind of an ass, actually. Said I would not be able to meet with her in person because they wanted to get more publicity for the event she's coming here for. So I had to ask my editor because this is not protocol.


Next time I talk to "Enrique", I am cool. I say we need photos since we aren't going to be meeting with Ms. Ontiveros, and we'd like a still from Babel since she was also nominated for an Academy Award for that film, which is what my publisher's wife told me. Yeah, that's not her. It's someone named Adriana Barraza. Wow, thanks publisher's genius wife. But, I schedule the interview and go home.


I get home and realize I have to be at City Council all day. And by all day, I mean during the time I had erroneously scheduled the interview. So I am frantically trying to get a hold of "Enrique" to reschedule. Thankfully she was available today because I was at City Hall for about six and a half hours. NOT thankfully, Enrique told Lupe about my faux pas. Who knows if he told her about the Babel thing.

Then yesterday after City Council, I'm telling Nick about the whole series of events and as if I'm not nervous enough about talking to a movie star the next day, his boss informs me that the Ontiveros wanted to be paid for the interview originally, so I went into the interview assuming she didn't want to talk to me...

All I can say is I.B.S. to the extreme.

Luckily my 45-minute chat with her went fairly swimmingly, although my publisher asked me to ask her how much money she made. I couldn't bring myself to do it.


Amanda said...

So I'm thinking about resurrecting Mustaches Mean Business... Thoughts?

Sarah said...

Yes please. I occasionally look back on MMB and then start crying, willing its return.

I think we might need to post again on Sarmandah, too, if we ever want our reality show to become... well, a reality.

Jaime said...

HAHA, well I'm glad to see you weren't all "star struck" like most people would've been! You handled that assignment like a champ wheels!

Sack said...

Did you tell Lupe to take off her pants? YOWZA!