Tuesday, September 26, 2006

For Maud and Jaime...

Since Maud can't get MySpace at her P.O.B. and Jaime remains too-cool-for-school when it comes to the MySpace cult, here is my latest blog! :o)

A week and a half in Albuquerque is enough for me. Especially considering I have spent the majority of my time in a hospital room or trying to entertain myself with the Internet at the Flying Star nearest to me. I love my friends here and the mountains and green chile, and I usually have tons o' fun here because I'm getting plastered at Maloney's downtown... Anyways, I've managed to make a few keen observations during my stay here.

There is a restaurant called Cesar's (not Caesar's) on Lomas that serves Mexican and Greek food. No, not Mexican/Greek fusion... they serve Mexican. And Greek. Maybe you can get a lamb taco? Anyways, I'm thinking you don't find this anywhere else.

Fellow New Mexicans know this, but for my Texan and other readers, it is commonplace to have your last name or car club plastered in white Old English letters on your whip's rear window. You might also want to garnish with a nice outline of Our Lady of Guadalupe.

The brown girls STILL wear purple lipstick, acid washed jeans, and attempt to dye their hair blonde, when it really just turns an odd shade of red/r'orange/yellow.

You can get green chile as a condiment on the hospital menu, and pretty much everywhere else you go.

While jogging in Eve's 'hood I have passed houses with BURRO lawn ornaments. Yes, people here have donkey lawn ornaments.

An outdoor sign at a Walgreens read: IMMIGRATION PHOTOS WHILE YOU WAIT.

Minivans are very popular here. The older and more delapidated, the better. You can fit yourself, your mamasita, your primos, and still have room for the ninos. Extra points if your primo and his knocked up ladyfriend are making out in the back seat.

If you didn't understand some of the words in the last sentence, you're not from New Mexico.

I've also made an interesting observation at the hospital: I think that minorities and people of lower income brackets get sick more often than everyone else does. Preventative medicine means nothing to these demographics. What matters are rims on the '91 Accord and speakers so loud they threaten to damage the already feeble vehicle's state.

Geez, there's more, but I can't think of anything right now. However, I want to send lots of love to Eve for putting up with me for a week and a half at her home. Hopefully I'll be exiting South stage back to the Dizzle here in a couple of days and then to Dallas... to start my new job!!

P.S. - I mentioned in comments on MySpace that I failed to mention the Native American grannies in men's shoes that are always two sizes too big and all of the breast feeding PSAs on television that make me ill...


Colonel Sack said...

Ahhh, R'orange. Such a brilliant name for a brilliant color.

Jaime said...

HAHA, I'm gonna have to agree with the Colonel on that one! And I definitely feel the love, so thanks for posting this blog Wheels!

Also, you forgot to mention the clip on spinning HUBCAPS, not rims, on the '91 Dodge Neon with the guys name in old english on the drivers side of the rear window and his "roucas" name on the passenger side of the rear window! Come on now Wheels!

Ty said...

Ok. You need to get out of Uptown when you get back to Dallas! You will feel right at home...I can list, ohhh...80% of the New Mexico Sightings here in the Big D...Oh and with the exception of Green Chile and Native Americans, if we take you to San Antonio, I think we will hit 100%!! ;-)

Sarah said...

Yes, it has been quite the experience. Today I was driving to pick my mom up from the UNM Hospital main entrance and had a guy giving a hydraulics demonstration behind me. I was confused as to whom he was trying to impress/threaten/give motion sickness to.

Friday I return to TAFKAS for a rendevous with Eve downtown. I should have more NM encounters to report, as well as another trip to Logan's-West (Maloney's) to speak of. I fully plan on telling everyone it is my birthday, so it could get interesting...

I once met a guy from San Antonio when I was bartending who addressed me as "Ma". I was SO not impressed! ;o)

Leslee said...

Fave...thanks for reminding me why I DO NOT live in Nuevo Mexico and will not be returning for a very long time...though I do heart my NM friends...you poor soles.

Jaime said...

HAHA, Lost Causes isn't that bad! And besides, the Aggies are actually winning a few games this year! And the one's we lose are actually close!