Monday, March 17, 2008

Exaggerated perceived benefits of big city life

I desired to move to a bigger city for three main reasons that I can think of:

  1. More people
  2. Music scene
  3. Shopping

Not sure why you’d want to live in a friggin’ huge city otherwise, because as I have learned, it sort of sucks (well, Dallas sucked kinda). I have found that there are as many things that I love about living in a small town as there are things that irritate the hell out of me.

ONE.

Right now the number one item on my list of aggravations are tourists – from Texas and Mexico. They drive like shit, act like shits, look like shit, and even smell like shit because they’re all over-cologners. But on the flip side, they leave (they come back, but they do leave). In a big city, you have idiots driving all over the place from out of town, or even from the other side of town, constantly. They have no idea where they are or what’s going on… I have been this idiot on many an occasion.

So there’s one part of the "more people" item on my list. I figured, "There’s got to be more cool people in a big city as compared to this tiny mountain town…" No, not really. Maybe in some bigger cities the average age is lower, but as the city grows, so do the number of assholes inhabiting it. I believe that’s what we call correlation. So in a large town you’re just as screwed as you are in a small town. It’s all about statistics.

TWO.

Next on my list is music. I really enjoy going to concerts of bands I like, and there aren’t a lot in Ruidoso, or even New Mexico for that matter. I think Smash Mouth (You remember them… they’re on all the bad 90s compilation albums and the Shrek soundtracks!) just played out at the Inn of the Mountain Gods. Awesome, no? I check on tours of bands I’d like to see, and the list of venues maybe goes something like this: Phoenix, Los Angeles, San Francisco (three dates), Seattle, Denver, Dallas, Washington, D.C., New York… you get the idea. The thing is, I really don’t have too much to complain about. We have a decent live music ring here and I am pretty sure I am dating the ring leader, who can talk DJ Pete into letting my East Coast BFF touch his afro (and there is definitely a picture of said ’fro-pulling in my pics, so check it out). So we have a good time regardless, I suppose.

And then because I am lucky and know like five people, sometimes I get cool opportunities to become the lucky recipient of two $100 tickets to see Willie Nelson out at the Inn before he stops touring. And by "stops touring," I mean dies, because we all know he’s going to smoke dope and sing songs until that day, right? That concert would have been insane if the venue hadn’t sucked and crazed hicks weren’t screaming, "WILLLLLAAAAAAYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!! WILL-(gasp)-layyyyyy…" Actually, that was incredibly entertaining all by itself.

THREE.

Shopping. All I can do when confronted with this topic is sigh. Too much thought could send me into fits of tears. There are a couple of cute shops in Ruidoso that may seem quaint and novel to visitors, but to me they’re just a bunch of Forever 21 clones in a charming store’s pajamas. The one shoe store SUCKS ("These shoes rule… these shoes SUCK!"). J. Roberts carries decent jeans from time to time that are reasonably priced, but unless you’re into buying $70 tops that fall apart after one outing, you’re effed. There’s no way someone else could borrow your top, betch. My purchases usually occur online or out of town, unfortunately. The good thing about this, however, is that I don’t do a lot of impulse buying. I give online purchases more thought and dedication because it’s a chore, and you can never be quite sure if what you’re getting will fit right, etc. A good Coach bag always fits, but anyways. I think I’m going to go to Walgreens now and look at the hair care products…

There are a plethora of other reasons why big cities suck or little towns suck in comparison to each other, like public transportation. Equally scary and entertaining if you ask me… wonky eyes on the Metro, the BP-riddled DART, breaking down on the El, Mohammed the cabbie in DC…

This blog brought to you by Sack, Amanda, and the letter B. Sack gave me the title and Amanda wrote a similar, but less cynical blog not too long ago. Thanks, yo!

34 comments:

Fenix39 said...

Hey! I went to checkout smashmouth,they sounded good. Although, you are right about this fucking texans and mexicans from Chihuahua(that don't deserve a capital letter on their origin) The fucking idiots from Chihuahua all dress the same, I can even monologue this morons. And for the texans, there sudden stops in the middle of the road in their big suv's that look like an England's double decker bus, really annoy the living crapola out of me.

Sack said...

A few of my EPBOBCL (title):

Nighlife: I still like places where you can puke on the floor, but can't stand ultra (douche) lounges and trendy clubs. Just give me a big, stupid, cold beer and I'm good. I also want to be wearing a t-shirt and flip flops. Dallas has plenty of puke-on-the-floor-type places, but finding those types of joints does not necessitate living in a big town.

Restaurants: There is quite a bit of quality and variety, but my favorite places are still in Cruces and TAFKAS (the artist formerly known as Steve).

Art: I prefer van graffiti to Van Gogh.

Sights: Dallas is pretty much just rain and concrete. Some of the lakes are nice, but pretty much bleh overall.

Toilets: Pretty much even. The world is my toilet because I am a man.

Sarah said...

fenix39: Thanks for reading my blog!

Sackagawea: First of all, what is EPBOBCL? Secondly, you know you love the Candleroom when you wear your bootcut jeans and striped shirt.

Third...

I am going to Si Senor tomorrow.

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