Out of sheer boredom comes a comprehensive list of things I highly enjoy and loathe presently. Not to worry, it does not include raindrops on roses or whiskers on kittens. Or warm woolen mittens for that matter.
In television I love:
Fuse. If you don't have it, get it. Unless you're gay and you still watch all that crap on MTV. Those of you who know me, know how I feel about MTV. It can go to hell and die.
The 4400. I watched it religiously on Amanda's TV in Lubbock and I will continue to do so here in the Dizzle. Long live Tom Baldwin, Kyle Baldwin and Shawn. May they be seen in their underpants frequently (but not together, please) on the show.
In TV I hate:
MTV. We have already covered this.
Reality TV. Especially the talent competition ones (besides Top Chef, but that's over).
In music I love:
Pretty much anything where the band sings all whiny and screamy. I love it and I can't get enough. Is that genre called screamo (as opposed to emo)?
In music I hate:
Lil' John and all the beepy rap songs he keeps putting out. Since when did the beep on my mom's answering machine (circa 1989) become a musical instrument? Stop. You were cool when you hung out with Usher. Thanks for bringing crunk to light, now it's time for a nap.
The bands who keep trying to make videos that look like Stanley Kubrick films, or bands who make themselves up to look like Alexander de Large doppelgangers from A Clockwork Orange.
In cereal I love:
Lucky Charms. I had forgotten how delicious they are... magically delicious. My renewed love for the Charms is recent. I hadn't eaten them since I lived in the Zeta house and we had the generic kind that came in a bag. The real thing pretty much has a 50/50 cereal bits to marshmallow ratio. Really, it's a little more 'mallow than I like, but what the hey. I can't knock the marshmallow goodness. What I especially appreciate is how the cereal turns the milk a manufactured shade of grey. Grey = Magic.
In cereal I hate:
Anything that doesn't have "sugar" listed in the first two ingredients. And anything that claims it's good for my "heart".
Topics to discuss at work I love:
Passive-aggressive. I like to call Le Bistro "Passive-Aggressive Island". I think everyone is a little passive-aggressive. It's the modern way to avoid direct conflict with another (or yourself), but still make them think about what's wrong with them.
Shtarnsh, Eddie, and the new sweaty kid.
I don't think there is much I won't talk about at work...
People I'd love to party with:
Probably that sloth from the Dallas World Aquarium. I bet he's a wicked good time. I'd like to have a drinking contest with him.
People I'd hate to party with:
Charles Barkley and any magic Christians.
What I hate about Ruidoso:
The Texans driving around at 15 miles per hour, up the road to my house. This really makes me angry because I like to drive about 35 mph on the same road. It's fun! But when I get to see the looks on their faces, I see fear. It's my belief that they believe they are lost in Brady Canyon and cannot find their way out. Ever. Then I laugh.
What I love about Ruidoso:
The same thing. It gives me the opportunity to drive like a stock car driver and yell obscenities at people I'll never see again.
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35 comments:
Um can I say I almost peed my pants with laughter about the "wiskers on kittens" part....
And 4400 totally rocks my world. (yeah I said it) And I guess I'm glad whats her face died but I'm nervous about the scary kid....
If I drank with Charles Barkley, I'd be forced to heckle him about his deteriorating physical state and I don't think that would be very good for his self-esteem. I'd hate to be the person to make Charles Barkley cry.
ALTHOUGH, I might have to recant. He was on The Today Show last year and said the only way to solve racism is to get rid of all the old people in the world. I might enjoy talking to someone who thinks like that.
a., 2., III. hahaha
Barkley is fat and he was talkin’ crap about the Suns. Screw him, I'm not a fan.
Maud- I really like the Narles Barkley song as well. We have always enjoyed the same stupid songs…
What the hell is that sloth thing...it’s not real is it? That’s awesome!
Les, that sloth is real. I saw it just over a week ago when I was in Dallas! He has his own bodyguard and everything.
I think Gnarles Barkley IS Charles Barkley. He's just testing a new career since he's too bloated to play sports (besides golfing poorly). It's kind of how I think Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I almost forgot about Charles Barkley telling us to kill all the old people.
Sarah, you forgot to add on your list that one of your favorite past times is working on your conspiracy theory that Al Roker and other members of the media are made of clay.
That video is almost as good as the kid with the light saber.....
I'm more concerned about what he was doing with that stuffed animal.
"Sack", for the record, I most definitely told you about Gnarls like last week when you first posited that Charles Barkley is "cool" because he's an avid gambler. I know because this is when my theory that Charles and Gnarls are the same entity began.
That video is awesome. I especially enjoyed the end where the kid is fake-slapping himself right before he breaks it down, Hammer style. Poor kid. I made my mom watch it and she said, "Well, at least he's getting exercise."
Amanda, I don't feel like too many people besides you and me think that certain media celebrities are made of clay. And that really sucks, because it's painfully obvious.
That video is fabulous...I couldn't stop laughing… I’m going to get fired.
The sloth is real?!! I am coming to Dallas to meet him as soon as possible. Sack make room on your couch, I need to meet the sloth.
So apparently I am the only one in the world who didn't know sloths were real. I have been discussing this with people at work. I thought they were fictional...like a Unicorn or Bigfoot. I'm an idiot...
It's ok, Les. If you want to we can start our very own SmartStupid People Club.
Maud can join, too. I seem to recall her thinking that some state was actually a city during one of the last times I was in TAFKAS.
The sloth was actually pretty cute. He moves incredibly slow, and according to Jeff, they're made into "Sloth Dogs", a sloth-based equivalent to hot dogs. ;o) Not really, Fave.
Wasn't it? Or did they just use the fact that there was a famous baseball player with the same name at the introduction of the candybar to their advantage?
I swear in that Babe Ruth movie with John Goodman, he promoted the candybar...
If it's not named after the baseball player then what was it named after?
That lecture on Baby Ruth is poorly written. Who writes for Wikipedia, anyways?
Hi!
So I stumbled upon your page today (an archive from 2006) and totally enjoyed it! I especially enjoyed the sub-heading of your blog...I do not like Nickelback either, and have often been ridiculed for that. Oh well. Also, your disdain for MTV is applauded! It USED to be cool in the 80's/early 90's...and then a giant poop cloud settled over the studio, and never left.
Anyway, just wanted to say how much I appreciated the laughs your humorous writing gave me today. "Thank You!"
Take care, and keep writing! :)
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