Big Red, Baby Corn, and BOOYAKASHA: Thursday in Dallas

So if you didn't get the memo, I traveled to the great city of Dallas this last weekend to visit Colonel Jeff McAdoo. I think the best way to tell you about it is just in some sort of chronological order, so here goes...

Actually, I think I should start with Thursday morning when I had to appear in court to bear witness to my Jeep being broken into. It was really scary for some reason. Probably because the dudes who did it were "dogging" me and my entourage. However, the highlight of being at court for three hours in the morning after being at work until almost 3 a.m. was being questioned by the (in)famous Gary Mitchell. If you don't know who Gary Mitchell is, you obviously don't watch enough CourtTV, or you don't live anywhere near the Hondo Valley, OR you don't belong to the Sam Donaldson fan club. Here's a pic of Gary with that crazy hippie lady who maybe killed some guy's wife in TAFKAS in the 90s:

Anyways, I was pretty scared that Gary et al. were going to keep me too long in court and I wasn't going to make it to El Paso in time to catch my flight. BUT, I found out of you drive about 80-90 mph from Ruidoso to El Paso, you can make it in like two hours. Thinking about all of the interesting names towns in New Mexico made the trip go by faster... High Rolls, Truth or Consequences, Alamorosa... I could go on all day. I also was reminded what a crap hole Orogrande is. They have mine tours.

So, here are the highlights of Thursday evening:

-Being picked up at the airport in the Turbo Suede, which somehow earned Jeff secret agent parking... crazy.
-Dinner at BJ's which included being the only people seated in an enclosed section with a group of about 25 women apparently there for a bachelorette party. The giant inflatable penis and the condoms on the bride-to-be's veil gave them away.
-Guessing the origin of the guy at the beer store (I say he's Armenian, I don't think Jeff really knows).
-Watching the entire second season of Da Ali G Show while drinking Miller Lite and becoming the new #1 fan.

RESPEK!

For some reason there was like a discount condom store in the same shopping center as the beer store. I wish I could remember what it was called, but it was pretty inappropriate... "Connies for less, mate?"

Anyways, that was Thursday and it was outstandsing! I could have forgotten something, though...